Sunday, August 31, 2008

NASCAR hurt me

NASCAR 2008 has to be one of the most ridiculously difficult games I've ever played. The only game I can think of that beats it out is GRAW, but that game is so retarded it doesn't merit comparison, or mention... in fact, I strongly believe that every copy of GRAW should be thrown in a deep hole, inundated with gasoline, and a fire should be lit that would burn for all eternity as an effigy of humanity's struggle to forget it made awful games like GRAW, the 50 Cent game, or Shaq Fu. Throw Dead Rising in there while you're at it.

Now that I've confused the reader, back to the topic at hand. Next generation NASCAR games should be played using the steering wheel controller. While I have no basis for comparison, because I don't own one, I have to believe that the people at EA spend most of their time laughing at people like me, who try to play these sorts of games with a controller. After struggling through a few races, I finally got my car tuned to where it needed to be where I could at least finish a race without feeling shamed. This is not the casual racing experience one would expect from going around an oval over and over and over again. Again, this game probably rules your face if you have a steering wheel, but for those without one, prepare for many, many, many slams into walls, cars, grass, penguins, mailmen, poinsettias, fat women named Irma, southern Sri Lanka, the 1978 Pittsburgh Steelers, killer robots, spatulas, cheese-based casseroles, professional yodelers, and Captain Crunch cereal - possibly with Crunch Berries. But please no Dale Earnhardt jokes. It's too soon.

About now, most people should probably be wondering why on earth I am playing NASCAR 2008 over NASCAR 2009. Well, it's quite simple, really - GameStop is offering a 25% off used 360 games special, and with an Edge card, the additional 10% makes for 35% off. So why buy a new EA game, when most people will agree that the biggest thing that changes year to year is, well, the year. Don't believe me? Go play Madden.

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