Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Eyeball 3000. Minus 2999.9 Repeating.

It's amazing what science can do these days. Of course, I'm being facetious. I'm a little bitter, because my eyes hurt. I had to get an eye exam today, and they put those drops in that dilate your pupils to the point where they start sucking in stellar matter. They also did away with the process where they air brush your eyeballs, instead opting to add drops that completely numb your eyes and then stick the giant laser from Mars Attacks! into it. Actually, thinking about it, it's a lot like the scene from Fire in the Sky where they stick the needle in the guy's eye. And the Dr. shines lights in your eyes that are high-wattage. I mean high. I mean, apparently my eye doctor has found a way to harness the energy from the sun and shine it directly into my ocular cavities.

I came home, and couldn't see. Everything was dark and bright at the same time, and very blurry. I couldn't go online, I couldn't really watch tv. I couldn't focus on anything, so I couldn't read. And I picked up a copy of the new expansion for Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned. And I couldn't read the code, so I had to wait for my wife to come home and enter the thing onto Xbox Live for me. Sheesh.

Speaking of The Lost and the Damned, it's awesome. Being a biker in a biker gang riding around a pseudo-NYC? Sign me up. Also, sign me up for brownies. And direct me to the line where they hand out free money.

Which brings me to the question on everyone's mind. Why make an entry on a blog, even as awesome as this one, when I could be playing the aforementioned GTA IV DLC? Well, stupid, I said my eyeballs hurt. "But Big Chief," you may be saying to yourself, "That doesn't make sense. Your computer has light from the monitor, so what does it matter?" Well, Mr. Smartass, how are you just going to argue with me in every post like that. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you go read some Spiderman comics and leave me alone.

Ok, you can stay. But I'm going to go play Xbox.

Shut up.

1 comment:

Little Bug said...

That new pressure thing is SUPER freaky! Of course so was the fact that you were inside, wearing your sunglasses, and it was still to bright for you almost an hour after you had your eyes dilated. I am SO glad that I was able to be there to drive you home and you didn't have to drive yourself. I am positive you wouldn't have made it back without at least running over a poor old lady that couldn't see any better than you.