Monday, April 20, 2009

Dia de Los Baños

They say you can't squeeze blood from a stone, but you can squeeze it from a butt. Ok, admittedly that was a pretty disgusting way to begin a blog entry, but it's relevant. Sort of. Today I'm doing the prep work for a kaleidoscope. Wait, that doesn't seem right, let me check my paperwork. Today I'm doing the prep work for a colonoscopy. What sort of prep work is this? The directions are simple:

Drink 1 bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Wait a half hour. Drink another bottle. Wait another half hour, then use a fleets enema in rectum. Wait 4 hours and repeat this entire procedure.

Four bottles of Devil Juice plus two Butt Douches equals one very unhappy Big Chief. While I've only just started the whole thing, I've begun setting up a base of operations in my bathroom, complete with telephone, books and magazines. It's going to be a long day.

Segway to the next part of the discussion.

I went to the doctor's a while ago for non-butt-related issues and found I had a severe Vitamin D deficiency and depression, so I was given prescription strength Vitamin D and an antidepressant. Sad thing is that it worked. While I wasn't sad or emo, I often felt out of it and unable to concentrate or motivate myself to do certain things. Now I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. It's awesome. Sunshiny days help a lot too. Funny that you don't get too many of them in NE PA. Ok, it's not really very funny at all. Shut up.

So hey, remember how I like games? I still play them. I just don't discuss them much anymore. I've gotten most of the games I wanted this year, but now I got a gift card for GameStop. This is good because I have yet to buy a copy of Ace Combat 6. I always meant to, but never got around to it. I rented it via GameFly, declared it to be awesome, and now must buy it. Another game to add to the never buy category, however, is Warhammer: Battle March. Boring, sloppy, and difficult to remember how to control anything, the game is one huge irritating snoozefest. I keep trying to get through it in the hopes that it's really not bad and I just suck, but as I remember all the controls, it still doesn't get any better. No thanks.

Thanks for listening, chilllllllllldren, this is Three Dog, owwwwwwww! Sorry, no it's not. Sorry. Really, sorry.

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