Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Suddenly A Post Appears

What's this? A year? A year since the last post. More than a year, really. What madness is this? (please no Sparta references. The humor market is over saturated in them.) So after more than a year, why post now? And why not post for so long?

I moved twice in the last year. A total of about 1,500 miles. The world turned upside down. Luckily I held on to a tree while everyone else fell into the sky. But I digress.

The point is, here I am. A lot has happened that kept me away. But after hearing several people ask me, right to the point, to start posting here again, I am. I'll try to post more often than, oh, I don't know, once a YEAR. But we'll see.

So, we had one cat. Last summer we got another kitten. Her name is Nala (because my wife named her) and she was adorably cute. Now, she's still cute, but also gross. She's growing up, so now she's in heat. I'm like, oh great, let's hurry and get her spayed. But for some reason we keep forgetting to look up info for that. Like, I could be looking up the info right now, but I'm writing. Writing here. Right now. ALL FOR YOU. See, it's your fault.

I kid! But really, we do keep forgetting because of one thing or another. Like standing in Walmart for 3 hours the other night to get medicine from the pharmacy. Or buying a tanker truck full of paint at Home Depot, and preparing to paint, you know, walls and rooms and stuff. So a friend of mine told me what she does with her cat to stop her from yowling all the time when she's in heat. She advised me to do what she does. "Q-tip fuck" her.

Yeah, no. There's no way I'm doing that. It made me cringe. So eventual spaying it will be. And let us never speak of Q-tips and sexual acts in the same sentence ever again.

We got a dog too. Not a god, like I almost just wrote. Doopid common dyslexic word. A dog. Golden Retriever, female. Her name is Lucy. I'm not sure how I came up with that name, although I was playing a lot of Assassin's Creed Brotherhood then. She's a good dog. The best. She gets along well with Nala, but Rejar (the other cat) is still a little standoffish. He's like that with other dogs too, but hopefully he will warm up to her.

Maybe not.

Lucy isn't fixed either. A few months ago, she was in heat and she was bleeding on the floor. And when she wasn't bleeding on the floor, she was licking her vagoo. Then giving kisses to everyone. She needs to be fixed soon also, before she goes into heat again. Or else my friend will try to Q-tip fuck her too.

Until next time, Reader.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

well, you always could just limit the amount of sunlight that she gets during the day. more humane than a good ole q-tip fuckin' anyway.